Strengthening Families
in the New Millenium
It most certainly sounds
cliché. It may even be a song, I'm not sure. But it is a profound
truth with potential to improve our community and society - one
child, marriage and family at a time. What is this powerful truism
and how can it vastly improve the state of the family as we move
into a new millenium?
"Love is spelled
T-I-M-E."
Someone once said the
most surefire way to know our priorities in life is to examine
how we spend our time and money. A glance at our checkbooks and
daily calendars will tell the tale. What do we value, really value?
How do we spend our time and money?
Granted, many people
in Hawaii spend their time making money - just to survive. These
people need better economic times and higher paying jobs so they
can have more time to spend with their families.
But let's face it. Many
of us spend more time working to amass more things, i.e. better
house, better car, new TV, stereo and on it goes. While there
is nothing wrong with these things per se, at what price do they
come? At the price of our marriages, our children, and our families?
Sadly, often they do.
So how can we improve
our relationships with our spouses and children, strengthen the
institutions of marriage and family, and improve our community
and society? In a word, TIME. Very simply, we can commit to spend
more of that 'quality time' with our spouses and children.
So in a few days, as
we pour over new and recycled New Year's resolutions for this
next mother of all New Years, I'd like to issue the Millenium
Family Challenge. Would you consider the challenge with me?
Husbands and wives,
will you recommit your lives to one another, for as long as you
both shall live? Will you resolve to take TIME to spend with each
other, to cherish each other and remember the things that brought
you together at the start? Will you vow not to become just another
divorce statistic, to persevere through the hard times by doing
the sometimes hard work of marriage? Will you commit to a date-night
- away from the kids, the job, and the boob-tube? Will you talk
to each other, really talk, once again? And will you value each
day together as a gift? Remember, there may never be another day.
There are no guarantees in this life. But you can lead by example
through a strong, loving, committed marriage partnership. And
if you've had a tough time of it in the past, there is no time
like a new millenium for a fresh start.
Parents, will you resolve
together to take TIME to spend talking, reading, playing, and
really connecting with your kids? As they grow older, will you
help them rise above the barrage of destructive forces all around
them seeking to pull them away from those values you hold dear?
Will you talk to them about avoiding tobacco, alcohol, drugs and
pre-marital sexual activity? About being kind to one another,
helping those who are less fortunate, and honoring their elders?
Will you take the TIME to know their friends, to know what's happening
in their lives? Will you be their parents, setting boundaries
really loving them unconditionally?
Applying the cliché
is simple, but not easy.
Will you make it a priority
in your family in the new millenium to spell love - TIME?
And if your answer is
yes, remember to periodically check your resolution progress by
simply glancing at your checkbook and daily calendar.
(Written by Kelly M.
Rosati, executive director of Hawaii Family Forum).
